Getting Help

So I have realized that I need to get help.  I have really reached the bottom of this depression, to the point that everything is getting to me.  I can’t deal mentally any longer. It is a struggle to get out of bed, to do daily things, and I know it’s not healthy.  Looking at my kids and realizing i’m missing so much because I don’t have the motivation or want to do anything.  I have NEVER been so excited about them going to their grandparents for the summer as I have been this year.  What is wrong with that?  I shouldn’t feel that way.  I should want them home, and miss them, and want to just play with them. I have 3 beautiful kids who I love more than anything, but I have realized that right now it’s probably best for them to go to my parents house for a bit.

I am finally going to get help though, I’m going to talk to a therapist about my problems, from my childhood, to my parenting, and most of all the betrayal in my marriage and the hurt it has caused me.  The therapist I am going to is a Christian which is a major PLUS.  That way I know at least she will look at it in a Christians point of view and not a worldly point of view.  I just hope that I like her, and am comfortable talking to her.  I am ready to find me, and get back to who I am.  I am just a lost soul right now who feels like the world is against her.

I took this picture and added the words to it, I feel like I need to read this to myself daily, because I know God has a plan for me, I just don’t know what it is yet.  I don’t have a lot to say right now, I just wanted to say I was getting help for my depression, and I think the time alone, will do good for me to find me again, to be the mom I once was.  My kids will have a blast with the grandparents.