Unrequited Love: “If i didn’t love him so much i couldn’t tolerate the way he treats me”
This isn’t my issue, my issue is that he still treats me like crap and i haven’t figured out how can a man treat a whore with respect and go out of their way for her, but yet treats his wife like his doormat. I am at a point, where i don’t really believe that i do love him, and almost 90% sure that our marriage isn’t going to work. I am worth more than i have allowed myself to believe. A man who cheats on his wife and then continues to treat her like crap after finding out about the affair, he doesn’t care about you. That is my thoughts.
Romantic Love: “I’m ready to risk everything for a person who makes me feel so happy, so loved, so alive.”
I am not happy and i really don’t feel love by my husband at all, he treats me like i’m worthless and so that of course makes me feel unhappy. I haven’t been happy in a really long time, that i don’t even remember in truth what happiness feels like. If i was to become happy, i think i would be lost and confused. I know that it’s really sad to feel that way, but its the truth. My husband in my eyes is very selfish and as long as he’s happy that’s all he cares about, and that is why a part of me thinks our marriage is over. Being that he had an affair and still acts and treats me the same. I am just not wanting to do this anymore.
Confronting your unrealistic expectations about love and marriage.
I in all reality don’t think i have unrealistic expectations, my expectations in love and marriage was simple, to honor your spouse, to be faithful, and love each other. If there are problems talk it out. I know relationships are not perfect and that we all have issues, so to me marriage isn’t that complicating its team work and its about being one not two. And as long as you are two there is never going to be a true marriage.
“Love is not static”
Confronting Your Doubts and Fears
It is best to wrestle with these concerns by yourself.
- “Now that you’ve been unfaithful, how can i trust that you won’t stray again.”
- “Are my reasons for staying strong enough?”
- “Should we stay together for our children?”
These are my main 3 questions i ask myself. In the book there are 10. My main thing is the trust. I don’t trust him and i don’t think i can. He made me look like a fool and lied to me in face everyday for 3 months with no remorse or care for me. To look at me and tell me there is no one else, and that all he wants is me and then to leave and go be with her to this day still makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t think my reasons are strong enough and i do think that i should leave. When it comes to my children like i stated the other day i think that maybe it is best for my kids to stay with their father, just because of the mental, behavioral and financial side of it all. And the fact that they get to see him all the time now, if i left they wouldn’t ever see him and if they did it would be far and few between.
In the aftermath of the affair, it’s normal to assume that love, once lost, can never be recaptured, the trust, once gone, can never be regained.
Reading on about this it ask that you look back in your marriage and not at the time of the affair or the present. I know for me it when i look at the past i don’t look at the positive and the book even talks about that and how you have to remove that and look at the good. Is there good, looking back is your marriage with saving. If i look at the past we had more bad then good, my husband never has been a husband, and to date still is not. He has NEVER kept one promise he has made to me. I think that our trust is gone and i don’t think it will ever come back. I think its to late and its too much to stand on. I fell out of love with him when i was pregnant with my first daughter and she is 7 years old. So what does that mean? Can we ever love each other? I don’t feel like we will.
Tomorrow we will talk about my number 1 and other things in this blog.